You have already learned how to best protect yourself against breast cancer, what to do and what you can expect if this disease strikes you;  but it can be a different question altogether if a friend or a family member develops this disease.  You may wish to be helpful, but you may not know what to do. 

One of the best and most important things you can do to help someone who has breast cancer is to alleviate her fears.  You can do this by reassuring her that while her concerns are commonplace, it is not necessary to be unreasonably fearful.  If you can provide your friend with all of the facts as outlined in this book, it can go a long way in relieving the extremes of fear and worry.  Assuring her that most women who are up against breast cancer not only survive, but proceed to live a normal lifespan in good health is a positive start.

There are many people who have an apprehension about nearly anything of a medical nature.  If this accurately describes the person who has or may have breast cancer, you can be of great assistance by accompanying her to her doctor's appointments.  If her concerns are in part due to lack of knowledge about the specific procedures that she will be facing, you can help by explaining how the procedure is done, adding, honestly, that the tests are not painful and do not take a long time.

If your friend is actually undergoing treatment for breast cancer, there is another way in which you can be of assistance.  You can help her to see that it does not necessarily need to have a negative or even a substantial effect on her everyday life.  Some people are afraid that any type of medical procedure, even those which are relatively minor, will leave them in a position of being unable to function well in their daily lives.

While procedures such as needle-biopsies and even tumor removal result in varying degrees of discomfort, it is generally not necessary for a person to put her everyday life “on hold” after a procedure.  Of course, if her degree of pain is to the extent that it actually does impede her ability to function, assisting her with her daily tasks can greatly reduce her burdens.

What should you do if a loved one has breast cancer?  The best rule-of-thumb is to keep in mind that each person is an individual, and, as such, has her own individual needs.  When you have this all-important point in mind, the surest way to be the best possible help is to take your cue from your friend herself. 

You can talk — but listen! Ask her to tell you about her concerns — and this will put you in the best position of knowing what concerns to address.  Ask her what types of everyday things she needs or wants help with — and this will let you know what kinds of help she really does need.  In order to be the most help, and in order to be the best friend that you can be to someone who is dealing with breast cancer, be a good listener!  You would be surprised to learn how many who have breast cancer need this more than anything else! 

Above all, don't be hesitant to bring up the subject of breast cancer.  Even if you are a bit uneasy talking about it, this is what your loved one needs most of all.  Too many people avoid the subject because it makes them feel uncomfortable; but this method of coping is hardest on the person who is dealing with the disease.  When you open the lines of communication, and let your loved one know that you are there for her, this is by far the most helpful thing that you can do!